Champion of Myself

Thank you, dear friends for your kind words to me during what has been the most difficult week of my Second Life. Your support has made a difference and helped carry me through this valley of despair.

Thank you, dear Christine for posting such eloquent thoughts on your Blog. I only hope that everyone can be as honest, and most importantly as non-judgmental as you.

The scene that occurred on Sunday evening at Mr. Drinkwater’s Rez Day party was horrific on many levels. I offer my sincerest apologies to Mr. Drinkwater, who is a dear friend of mine. I am heartbroken that an event from my personal life marred his special day.

The things that my Knight said to me, in public, were beyond unacceptable. No man should speak to a woman that way. Especially a Knight to his Lady – and moreover in this case as his Lady is the Duchess of Carntaigh in the Independent State of Caledon.

I know that there have been offers from gentlemen and women to serve as my Champions. I thank you all so kindly for this, but I am the Champion of myself. I will resolve this, with my Knight, in time. As of this writing, I have made no firm decisions on anything, either personal or professional. I simply need more time.

I know there have been suggestions of shunning. All I can say is this: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” The punishment that my Knight is subjecting himself to at this moment is far worse that anything anyone else could design.

If you are wise, and understanding of the human condition, you already know that there is more to what happened on Sunday night than just a Knight being cruel and demeaning to his Lady in public. Such harsh and horrible words do not come out of nothing, but rather from a place of deep pain. Pain that I triggered with thoughtless actions. I am not responsible for what Red said and did, but he was reacting to what he was seeing…even though those in attendance know it was meant as harmless fun. I have hurt him in the past. He hurt me, and himself, on Sunday night.

I must again say “judge not”. For I know there are those of you out there that judge me for being a “Naughty Duchess”, even though you have NO IDEA what my truth is. I know my truth. I know who I am. And I like who I am, I really do not care how you judge me! I play the song “I Don’t Care” at Caledon gatherings often; it truly is my theme song. And I know there are those of you out there judging Red for what he said and did on Sunday night. Be adults…condemn the actions, but do not condemn the man.

I have forgiven Red for what he said on Sunday night, as he has forgiven me in the past for my mistakes. What does this mean ultimately? Where do we go from here? I do not know yet. But know this: I love you all. Thank you my friends for being there for me. Most especially my Cousin Eva, Edward and Christine, Zealot, JJ, Her Grace CoyoteAngel and Hotspur.

Comments

You are a most wise and gracious woman, and your words here are well-spoken.

I, too, have had some communication from and to your Knight. I shared with him, as I share with you now, that I wish him no ill and hope that he is able to find peace and happiness in RL and SL.

My thoughts and prayers are only for what is best for both of you.

Eva
Lady Gabi, eloquently said. As I commented in Colonel O'Toole's blog, I am a firm believer in forgive and forget, and it is up to you and Messers Drinkwater and Wormser (as it was you three who were the offended party, and you the most so), to be the ones dealing the punishment, and deeming when to forgive and forget...not the rest of Caledon. I shall follow your lead on the matter. When you give word thematter is settled, then it is settled for me as well, something to never be brought up again.

And you speak well on "judge not". After all, half the time it seems I'm a drunken, topless baroness...as "naughty" as the come...who am I to judge others?

*hugs you warmly* Know I stand with you on any decision you make!
Gabrielle Riel said…
Thank you Eva and Amber. I do want to express something that I neglected to put in my Blog post...

There will be consequences for Red's actions. It is impossible for there not to be.

He has already imposed some of those consequences on himself, and has left Caledon for the time being.

I am still weighing the consequences he must face in regards to his role as my Consort, and as my partner in Radio Riel. I have forgiven him...but things can not remain as they were.

And Amber...here's to the naughty aristocracy of Caledon! ;-)
*raises her glass of Absinthe to toast naughtiness*
JJ Drinkwater said…
Madame, we cannot but admire your compassion and your generosity of spirit. I have had a personal apology from Mr. Caliber, and with all my heart I wish him wisdom, and peace with himself, when he may find it.

But it is with you, and with Caledon, that my thoughts most dwell. As you think it best for yourself, and we whose lives draw grace from your presence among us, so shall it be. You are sage, Madame, to say that perturbations must have consequences. What amends are to best to be made, time shall tell, and I pray we may all go gently with ourselves, while the matter is still tender.

And with you, Your Grace, I drink to the best and boldest in the spirit of the Aristocracy of our fair isle!

Madame, your servant and Caledon's

JJ Drinkwater
Here's to naughtiness Duchess!! Cheers!
Some words that were said were said out of a place of anger and hurt. We were hurt and angry because we love you so much. By doing it publicly he injured you the most, but all who were there as well. I will follow you example, and forgive. If he ever comes to me, I will not shun him.
Hotspur O'Toole said…
I commend you for your generosity of spirit, Your Grace. I was (obviously) among the first to take public offense to Mr. Caliber's actions (I'm sorry, the phrase "Sir Red" sticks in my throat after this event). As I've said elsewhere, you were the target for that individual's abuse and forgiveness (or consequences) rightfully rests with you. I think all of us see that.

Speaking only for myself, it will be difficult for me to think highly of Mr. C. again, or at least for a long while. I CAN and WILL act civil towards him, as would be expected by the society at large, but it would require a saintly disposition (which I lack) to welcome his company. Again, this is MY failing, and MY problem to overcome. I despise bullies in the RL and I am not at all different in SL. I suspect I am not unique among my fellow citizens in this regard.

One thing I will NOT do is heap more scorn upon the man; I do not believe that flagellating him publically serves anyone (much less the public good) one whit. I wish the man luck in wrestling with his demons and I will neither shun him nor verbally lambast him were I to see him again.