The Journey to...the Mysterious Island - Gabrielle's Story Part 2

Gabrielle's Prologue to the Journey

The Journey to...the Mysterious Island - Gabrielle's Story Part 1

I sat down on my cot, removed my shoe, turned it upside down and dumped at least 1/4 cup of sand out of it. Damn this misery - and damn my ruined pumps! Why on *earth* did I agree to come with Eva on this mission of utter insanity and extreme lack of hygiene?? I flopped back on my cot, staring up at the thatched ceiling of the hut over me. Oh yeah, this is really going to keep the bugs out of here...

The gramophone in the corner crackled out "I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now" as I sighed heavily. At least I still have my music. And at least Doctor Sputnik seems to enjoy cranking the gramophone from time to time so I don't have to. Speaking of music, whenever the wind changes here I swear I can hear Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, BWV 565" being played on an organ...somewhere! It's so strange! I wonder if it is just my mind being affected by volcanic gasses.

I rolled off the cot, stood and walked out of my hut. In front of me, the Arronax sat beached, the hull solidly stuck in the sand. I guess that that is the type of mooring you get when a Penguin is steering the vessel. I turned around and looked behind me at the expanse of dense jungle and the volcano, Phillip, which rose out of it.

I glared up at the volcano. You bloody thing. I left my circuit of lovely parties to come here and study you. Well, at least I packed an appropriate jungle expedition outfit - it should serve me well as we hack our way through the jungle with machetes.

And what on God's green earth was that giant footprint thing we saw upon disembarking? Doctor Sputnik and Miss Lightfoot seemed completely unperturbed when we saw it - they just went about their business examining it and measuring it while Eva took diligent notes. *sighs* I wish I could be of some help to them.

Oh enough of this dreariness! I went back into my hut and opened the massive trunk sitting at the foot of my cot. I removed a small silver box and set it on my cot. I then pulled 3 bottles of Dom Perignon out of the trunk and laid them on the cot next to the box. I flipped the lid of the box open and removed a stack of small silver cups. Pulling two cups off the top of the stack, I went to the door of my cottage and called, "Eva? I have some important Duchy business that I would like to discuss with you!"

An hour later, Eva and I were dancing on the cot to "Goodbye My Lady Love", drunk as skunks...the 3 bottles empty on the floor.

Eva Bellambi: *slurring* Omigod... he was awful...

Gabrielle Riel: SHUT UP! He talks susha good game....!

Eva Bellambi: Oh indeed. *giggles drunkenly* Come to think of you ever wonder which gentleman in Caledon has been with the most ladies?

Eva and I screamed with laughter and started shouting out names of the likely suspects in a drunken frenzy.

Gabrielle Riel: *grins* For that matter, which lady has had the most gentlemen?

More laughter...followed by a volley of ladies' names.

I tried to step off the cot, but the floor was a bit further down than I had anticipated - I tumbled directly onto my posterior. Giggling uncontrollably, I stumbled up and to the door of the hut.

Gabrielle Riel: *swaying* Oh look! There goes Mr. Abel into the jungle!

Eva Bellambi: Whadyamean? He shouldn't just run off like that into the jungle! *stumbles off the cot* He needs to at least take a scientist with him. I'm gonna go... *lurches out the door*

Gabrielle Riel: EVA! Wait!

I turned back into the hut, vision blurred by the bottle and a half of Champagne I had imbibed. I stumbled to my bag...grabbed it...pulled the needle off of the wax cylinder and dumped the gramophone (cylinder and all) into the bag. I threw open the trunk...pulled out 4 more cylinders and 2 more bottles of Dom Perignon - into the bag they went. I turned around a bit too quickly and my head spun. Oh Lord. I took and deep breath and headed out the door after Eva.

Eva was only a few feet into the jungle, her progress being impeded by her inability to walk a straight line. I caught up to her and dissolved into a fit of drunken giggling. Suddenly, she stopped. Before her stood the strangest looking man...wearing a bowling shirt, assless chaps, a fedora and shades.

Eva Bellambi: Look darling Gabi..a SAVAGE!

Gabrielle Riel: Why yes my dear Eva, it certainly is. A fine specimen of a savage too. Quite…well grown. Look, his nametag says “Hi, my name is Templeton”. How friendly!

Eva Bellambi: A manly son of the jungle, a veritable Tarzan, even though he is wearing golf shoes and driving a coconut shell scooter. Perhaps, we must make a sacrifice and win our freedom and the freedom of our compatriot by…succumbing to his primal aggression towards civilized women. Do you think he may need to have his reason overthrown in such a fashion as he victimizes our heaving busoms, my sweet Gabi.

Gabrielle Riel: NAUGHTY Eva, you can’t mean….NO, you mean to…offer him a Duchess Sandwich??!!

Eva Bellambi: I think a Duchess Sandwich is our only hope, my poor benighted Gabi. I am prepared to make such a dark and sordid sacrifice for you, and our goals.

Gabrielle Riel: And I would make such an exhausting and moist sacrifice for you, noble Eva…and of course for our goals as well. What say you, ruffian, would a Duchess Sandwich still your hunger for passionate violence?

Templeton: Sandwich? Hunger?

Gabrielle Riel and Eva Bellambi in unison: You SEE, we have soothed the savage breast…beast…no, breast….A sandwich you wish and a sandwich you shall have!

Templeton: Yer darn tootin. Liberace, bring the mayonnaise and some gherkins. We’re havin deli...

The man's voice trailed off quickly as he noticed that Eva and I had removed our outer clothing...and were standing in front of him in matching lingerie - Eva's wine colored, mine blue.

(Note to Lord Bardhaven from Gabrielle: Brunettes with my coloring do not wear apricot my dear Baron! :-) )

Templeton: Woof

Cue "Do You Think I'm Sexy" by the Revolting Cocks

Eva and I fell into position quickly and naturally, as we have danced the Duchess Sandwich many a time.

The savage seemed baffled at first, but began to get a clue as Eva and I worked our hips against him.
Hmm - why do I always seem to dance the Duchess Sandwich when I am in a drunken stupor? I felt the earlier dizziness return, and I actually leaned into the savage in order to keep myself standing up. Oh this feels nice...kind of restful leaning here like this...I'll just close my eyes for a second....


I came to sputtering and choking. What on earth? Did someone just drop me into a bathtub? Coughing and pulling my wet hair out of my face, I saw Eva next to me, looking thoroughly pissed. A black cast iron bathtub??

I gasped as I looked out at crowd of savages...circling Eva and we sat in a very large COOKING pot on a pile of wood. Duchess Sandwich indeed!