Let's Hear It For Norma Genie Burton!

Last night, the Gaiety Theater in Caledon Penzance held its first unofficial performance - Miss Eugenia Burton, working it and belting it out on stage. She sang a song that she composed as a Christmas gift for her friends, Mr. Iason Hassanov and Mr. Nix Sands.

Cue the music for "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend"...

Human males are bred to die for love.
They delight in fighting duels.
But I prefer a Shiny Man, Who uses coal as fuel!

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but Steambots are a girl's best friend!
A kiss may be grand, but it won't buy the rental,
on your Caledon lands or help you buy designer brands!

Men grow cold when girls get too bold
And we all lose our men in the end.
But iron or copper,
Don't care if you're proper!
Steambots are a girl's best friend!

Hassanov's.... Ironworks...
Bolts! Guns! Steam! Fun!
Talk to me, Iason! Tell me all about it!

You might know some soldiers who served in Crimea,
But inventors are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time when your nightclub idea,
Goes completely bust!
But Nix is there, so you aren't crushed!

He's your guy when stockings are high,
But beware when they start to descend,
It's best not to annoy,
The Platonic Playboy!
Inventors are a girl's best friend!

I've heard there are places where spaceships have races,
But Victorians are a girl's best friend!
And I think that chases in Gorean places,
Are much like bling -
both of them are not my thing!

Time rolls on and 'noob' is gone,
And you can't stand that Ruth walk again!
But duchess or shy belle,
You love it on S.... L...!
I don't mean Mainland!
Victorian's are a girl's best friend!

Song printed here with Miss Burton's permission.

~ The Nightingale