Laughter is the shortest distance between two people

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people" - Victor Borge

Yes, some of you figured it out!  My post here yesterday was an April Fool's joke cooked up between myself and Hotspur Otoole.  I am sure that there are many of you reading this that are thinking: Gabi and Hotspur did an April Fool's joke together?? What does that mean?  (For those of you not in the know, there has been a conflict between Hotspur and myself over the last 7 months, some of which played out in public.)

It means that the conflict is over.  Both Hotspur and I are closing this chapter and moving on.  He and I have had a chance to have some excellent private conversations over the past several days, which I appreciate greatly.  I've learned some valuable lessons and realized a major blessing in my life.  I also have some things that I need to "process", and that will take some time for me.

I have been in SL for 4 years.  Hotspur has been in for about 3 1/2.  He and I were both very involved in Caledon in its early days.  I don't think most people know that he and I used to be friends, very close friends.  Close enough that I asked him to be a Knight in my Court, and he accepted.  The initial rift in our friendship occurred in late 2007, and it's what happened then that set the stage for the last 7 months.

I am sure everyone has seen that conflicts that involve people who initially cared for each other are often much worse than conflicts between strangers or acquaintances.  It's why divorces are so awful.  To be clear: Hotspur and I were never a "couple"!  Just good friends that shared a lot.

The biggest lesson I take away from this, is that the next time someone tells me they are angry with me, or if I hear that someone is angry with me, I am going to immediately make private and direct contact, and ask them to tell me, step by step, piece by piece, why they are upset with me.  I will press for every detail, and ensure that I understand how the problem is defined in their mind.  In this case with Hotspur, I was under the mistaken impression that he knew exactly what occurred at The Bashful Peacock last September.  I mentioned what I did in several places.  Plurk.  My Blog.  I thought the situation was well defined.

It wasn't.  A variety of people told him a variety of things, and it created a jumble of second hand information, that ultimately painted a picture in his mind that was not what had actually occurred.

So the drama, the ugliness, the pain of the last 7 months?  All based on something that was not true.  I knew what I had done, and I was stunned by his reactions to it.  He thought I was callously blowing it all off and refusing to take responsibility for my actions.  We were literally involved in two completely different conflicts.  We have now communicated and resolved the situation.

The blessing I take away from this is the realization that the people I have close to me are amazing, beautiful people who are true friends in both of my lives.  I have very few "close" friends in SL.  I can basically count them on one hand.  It used to be different, but I have pulled back over the last few years.  When this conflict exploded last September, my friends basically said to me: wow, this sucks, but we're here for you.  They never brought gossip to my doorstep, they never IMd me to hash over the drama or bash Hotspur, they never spread ugly rumors to other people about it, they never used it as an opportunity to write ranting blog comments or ranting blog posts of their own.  They didn't try and stir the conflict for their own amusement.  My friends were supportive and loving, and the way that they handled it all impresses me to the core.  I am so blessed to have the friends I have.

To those of you that maliciously fed on this conflict like vultures?  Go find yourselves another pile of garbage on which to feed.  There is nothing left for you here.

I know we April Fooled some of you out there!  And kudos to those of you that spotted it right away.  Hotpsur and I decided some humor was in order to move forward.  So my dears...onward ho!

~ Gabi

 PS - Here is the Commodore's post regarding our joke.

Comments

Riven Homewood said…
You mean there isn't going to be a ball? Or an official Drama Society? :(

((so glad to see that you two wonderful people worked it out!! I hate it when my friends are feuding))
Breezy Carver said…
smiles I concur with Miss Raven :)

"You mean there isn't going to be a ball ?"
*hugs* i am vey happy for YOU both .. Conflicts are never easy and most of all are hurtful and draining!!
Toast to YOU both cheers :)
Gabrielle Riel said…
Ack!! I do not know what happened but I accidentally deleted all comments!

I am way smarter than this type of mistake! They were there...then gone!

Here is what they were:

A delightful development!

Steadman Kondor

--------

You mean there isn't going to be a ball? Or an official Drama Society? :(

((so glad to see that you two wonderful people worked it out!! I hate it when my friends are feuding))

Riven Homewood

--------

smiles I concur with Miss Riven :)

"You mean there isn't going to be a ball ?"

*hugs* i am vey happy for YOU both .. Conflicts are never easy and most of all are hurtful and draining!!

Toast to YOU both cheers :)

Breezy Carver
Gabrielle Riel said…
Now I am thinking about having a Ball - so many people have expressed disappointment over not having one!