Pull My Strings

I had an enjoyable chat last night with some friends at Le Vieux Canal after my show there.  I was discussing how it's impossible for me (well, anyone!) to please everyone all of the time and how I, like it or not, usually have someone mad at me about a decision I have made, or not made, in the manner that they wanted.

I decided to share a big secret with the people that were present...I told them that I would reveal to them exactly what they, or anyone else, should do if they wanted to manipulate me into doing what they wanted me to do.

To get me on your side or to do something you want or need, approach me and communicate with me in the following manner...

Be nice. Be friendly. Be positive.  Be polite.

Yes, there it is ladies and gentlemen!  Exactly what you need to do to have Gabrielle Riel eating out of your hand!  My background is as an educator.  I *like* to help people, as long as they are nice and polite.  You could be on Radio Riel's staff, an NT resident, a business contact or a stranger.  It does not matter who you are, this is the answer to the secret of how to pull Gabi's strings.

That's it.  Yeah, I am such a complex and tough nut to crack!

There are also some approaches and behaviors that will pretty much guarantee I will tune right out and not pay attention to you.  The following traits will get you nowhere with me:

Negativity.  Yes, we all have bad days and need to blow off steam and vent once in awhile, but if you do nothing but bitch and complain and bitch and complain...my brain mutes you.  I will also stop taking you seriously.

Criticism of Others. Pumpkin Tripsa, the Estate Owner of Seraph City put this line in his Covenant: "Constructive criticism is helpful so long as it is indeed constructive and friendly.  We are here to enjoy ourselves in an amazing aesthetic, not nitpick each others' work."  Enough said.

Passive Aggressiveness. Again, everyone falls into this once in awhile, however if your primary way of trying to let me know something is nasty little comments, sending other people to me with your complaints, or whining in IM to anyone who will listen about how Gabi is such a horrible bitch?  That won't endear you to me, and I will tune you out.

Assuming I am Psychic.  Well, um, I actually AM Psychic, but not to the level where I can see inside your head and know exactly what you are thinking.  Especially if you do not tell me!

Assuming Malice.  SL is not an adequate environment in which to make assumptions that someone is angry at you or "out to get you" based on text.  I don't want to sound like a martyr here, but NONE of you can even begin to understand what SL is like on my end of the keyboard. I accept that no one gets it, except for perhaps people like Desmond Shang, Serra Anansi and Saffia Widdershins.  If I ever act distracted, or don't respond instantly to an IM, or I'm standing silently on the Rue de Bayou and you walk by and say "hi" and get no response?  It does NOT mean I hate you, nor that I am mad at you, nor that I think I am too good for you.  Most likely I am afk, conducting a business deal or in Gmail and not paying attention in SL.  And forget it when I am playing a gig!  This is why I hire Hosts!  I can't keep up with 100% of everything in world when I am playing live.

Taking it all Personally.  Those of you out there reading this post and thinking: "Oh my God, Gabi, that bitch, is directing this all at ME."  Sorry kids, but it ain't all about you.  I am summarizing behaviors that I have experienced from a whole passel of people over the last 3.5 years.  This post distills the things that I have learned that I appreciate, and dislike, the most when it comes to interaction with others in SL.  For the last 3 years, I have had people who take it as a personal affront if I sneeze, so I *really* tend to tune people that do this right out.

No Empathy.  The inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and see where they are coming from.  Here's an example: "Oh my GOD, did you see that build/tree/chair/whatever that she just put out?  She clearly has no taste, and is just doing it to thumb her nose at us!"  No.  It just means that someone has different taste and values than you do.  The things that you hold SO dear are not important to her.  And guess what?  If she is not being mean nor nasty nor aggressive?  It's ok.  It might not be your cup of tea, but guess what?  She is not you.  Tearing people down for not having the same ideas, taste, opinions and preferences you do is more than just criticism.  It's a lack of empathy.

Ass Kissing. I swear to God that I am going to put in Radio Riel's policies and in the New Toulouse Covenant that if *anyone* ever fawns over me like a slobbering sycophant (how many people are with Desmond Shang), I will freakin' fire you or boot your ass out of NT!  I actually feel sorry for Des, because the fawning is more than a bit...weird.  It would make me uncomfortable.  I can't imagine how it makes him feel.  If you like something I do, I welcome genuine compliments.  The feedback I got on Bayou was wonderful.  Genuine and from the heart.  I don't do what I do to have insincere groupies.  I like working with creative and talented people.  Period.

We are all human.  No one is at their best 100% of the time. However, if you are nice, friendly, polite and positive with me?  You will have me on your side instantly.  I will be more than happy to let you pull my strings.

~ Miz Gabi


OMG! This is so about me! You sneezed once when I was kissing your ass! You hate me!
Gabrielle Riel said…
Oh yeah, this was all about you Otenth! You're such a walking personality disorder!

I laughed so hard when I read your comment. :-)
I'd like to put a stamp of emphasis on the "assuming malice" clause. I cannot begin to catalog the amount of stupid unnecessary drama that causes, nor the time I and others who were dragged in have lost.

I suppose this means I've committed a fail on the 'passive aggressive' clause, bugger...