St John Tea Transcripts - 03/19/2014

[17:00] Gabrielle Riel: Hello Mr. B. :-)
[17:00] Eclectric Breitman: Hello hello
[17:00] Annechen Löwey: Hallo!
[17:01] Gabrielle Riel: Thank you both for being here. You know I always start on time.
[17:01] Gabrielle Riel: Today's tea is going to be something totally new and different.
[17:01] Gabrielle Riel: At the last tea I used visuals.
[17:01] Annechen Löwey looks unsure.
[17:01] Gabrielle Riel: Today's tea is partially in audio. :-)
[17:02] Gabrielle Riel: If you would please turn on your parcel audio
[17:02] Gabrielle Riel: Or open http://music.gabrielleriel.com in a media player.
[17:03] Gabrielle Riel: You should hear the final movement of Vivaldi's Spring from the Four Seasons
[17:04] Annechen Löwey nods.
[17:04] Gabrielle Riel: What I did for today
[17:04] Gabrielle Riel: I wrote a blog post - I'll give you the link
[17:04] Gabrielle Riel: Then I recorded it
[17:04] Gabrielle Riel: because it's easier for me to talk than type it all out
[17:04] Gabrielle Riel: Because it's a lot of information.
[17:05] Gabrielle Riel: It's 15 minutes long, the audio. Then I can answer questions, we can chat.
[17:05] Gabrielle Riel: And all the folks that aren't here can regret missing the old dirt I drag out in the post! :-D
[17:06] Gabrielle Riel: Here is the link to the post: http://gabrielleriel.blogspot.com/2014/03/estate-ethics-according-to-gabrielle.html
[17:06] Gabrielle Riel: The audio will start in about a minute.
(Note: you can listen to the audio here: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/141661/Estate%20Ethics%20According%20to%20Gabrielle%20Riel.mp3)
[17:11] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Bitte, tell me you have not all gone to Voice.
[17:11] Annechen Löwey: Parcel stream.
[17:11] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Ahh.
[17:13] Gabrielle Riel: http://gabrielleriel.blogspot.com/2014/03/estate-ethics-according-to-gabrielle.html
[17:13] Gabrielle Riel: There is the text Herr Baron
[17:13] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach nods
[17:13] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Frau Lowey sent me that, danke.
[17:14] Eclectric Breitman: Oops.
[17:14] Gabrielle Riel: Oops?
[17:15] Eclectric Breitman: Large walls. Although, technically, it wasn't me.
[17:15] Annechen Löwey: I have a large poster, but I hoped to keep it in theme.
[17:16] Gabrielle Riel: I mean posters in which you are saying things like "my neighbors are stupid"
[17:16] Gabrielle Riel: I've had that happen.
[17:16] Annechen Löwey: Ah, so mainland, that.
[17:16] Gabrielle Riel: Indeed
[17:19] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: There is or was a sign in the CDS that had as its punchline, 'I am not the jackass whisperer.'
[17:22] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: You sound a touch hoarse. Are you well?
[17:22] Gabrielle Riel: Just allergies Dad :-)
[17:22] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach chuckles
[17:22] Annechen Löwey whispers, "She recorded it sober."
[17:22] Gabrielle Riel: I did indeed
[17:22] Gabrielle Riel: If I had been drunk, you would have heard a LOT more dirt!
[17:23] Annechen Löwey snickers.
[17:23] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach snickers
[17:23] Gabrielle Riel grins
[17:23] Gabrielle Riel: Obviously there have been a variety of things lately, in other estates, that have upset me greatly
[17:23] Gabrielle Riel: Like head exploding seeing red greatly
[17:24] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: The Caledon matter?
[17:24] Annechen Löwey headtilts.
[17:24] Gabrielle Riel: I was able to have some private communication, but I really have no "power" to do anything in other estates.
[17:24] Annechen Löwey: I have been in buildspace too much. I have gotten an earful of the CDS thing from my assistant.
[17:25] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: According to how I heard it, an EM overheard two consenting adults using terms of affection which caused them to burst in and AR them for ageplay.
[17:25] Gabrielle Riel: But I do have "power" to do things here.
[17:25] Annechen Löwey: Ahhh, that.
[17:25] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Also, Jayleden has been taxing Herr Guvnah's nerves, but Miz Gabi must know about that already.
[17:25] Gabrielle Riel: There have actually been at least three different things in three different estates that have been very upsetting.
[17:26] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Mind you mentioning the others, bitte?
[17:26] Gabrielle Riel: I've been in SL for 8 years. I have seen some bad things.
[17:26] Gabrielle Riel: I won't go into details.
[17:26] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: However vaguely, ja.
[17:26] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I do not like finding landmines the hard way, you see.
[17:27] Gabrielle Riel: But in the last three months, I have been stunned.
[17:27] Annechen Löwey: We apparently have a tendency to attract them.
[17:27] Gabrielle Riel: There are always "politics"
[17:27] Gabrielle Riel: I don't think you have anything to worry about Herr Baron. I think you have enough general knowledge to see what has happened over the last few months.
[17:28] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I appreciate your point of view.
[17:28] Gabrielle Riel: There is always tension between some residents and some EMs.
[17:28] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: (Zanta is still feeling poorly. She overworks when she feels ill.)
[17:29] Gabrielle Riel: Residents can feel very alienated if they feel like the estate owner plays favorites.
[17:29] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach nods
[17:29] Gabrielle Riel: And making someone an EM is a way that shows that someone is a "favorite"
[17:29] Gabrielle Riel: In some form or fashion
[17:30] Annechen Löwey: "Trusted" is what I would call it, but there are those who will always think they can run things better.
[17:30] Gabrielle Riel: We, estate owners, all take a risk when we choose EMs.
[17:30] Gabrielle Riel: Exactly Frau Lowey
[17:30] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach grins ironically
[17:30] Annechen Löwey: The issue is they want to meddle, usually.
[17:31] Gabrielle Riel: And I have made different choices over the years for different reasons.
[17:31] Annechen Löwey: The ones that complain, that is.
[17:31] Gabrielle Riel: Luckily, St. John is small.
[17:31] Gabrielle Riel: We have me and 2 EMs that i trust completely.
[17:32] Annechen Löwey nods.
[17:32] Gabrielle Riel: Neither of the EMs here will ever let their egos interfere with serving residents.
[17:32] Gabrielle Riel: It's that out of control ego that causes the problems.
[17:32] Gabrielle Riel: EMs can also over-"own" their community
[17:32] Annechen Löwey: "Trust to handle things within my stated parameters" is different from "Running things the way they think ought to be".
[17:32] Gabrielle Riel: They personalize it too much
[17:33] Gabrielle Riel: Some of what I saw in the last few months were statements from EMs like
[17:33] Gabrielle Riel: "I won't allow x,y,z behavior in MY community"
[17:34] Gabrielle Riel: It's becomes about them. THEIR ownership of the community.
[17:34] Gabrielle Riel: Not about serving residents.
[17:35] Gabrielle Riel: It's a miracle I did not have a blog rant. I came very close.
[17:35] Gabrielle Riel: Because that abuse of power thing just send me into orbit.
[17:36] Gabrielle Riel: Do you have any thoughts, questions, comments? I'll be posting these transcripts as usual so any discussion is good for the folks who can not be here.
[17:37] Annechen Löwey: It is difficult to balance, in some situations, but to be honest, the lighter hand works best in most situations, griefing aside.
[17:37] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Only that my comment about Caledon is based off complaints made extremely public.
[17:39] Gabrielle Riel: One of the things that has made several of the occurrences of the last few months so unusual is how public they have been!
[17:40] Annechen Löwey: I much prefer to not hear other people's tantrums.
[17:40] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach raises an eyebrow at her
[17:40] Gabrielle Riel: And I have been worried about my residents that might also live elsewhere.
[17:40] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: You have made that well obvious, Frau Lowey.
[17:40] Annechen Löwey: I get enough of that elsewhere.
[17:40] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Heh.
[17:40] Annechen Löwey glares at the Baron, briefly.
[17:41] Gabrielle Riel: I can't do anything about other estates.
[17:41] Gabrielle Riel: Well, I could have caused some huge public drama.
[17:41] Gabrielle Riel: I've done it before. :-)
[17:41] Annechen Löwey: No, that is quite all right.
[17:41] Gabrielle Riel: Amen sistah
[17:42] Gabrielle Riel: But here I can define things for St John folks
[17:42] Gabrielle Riel: And let them know how I feel
[17:42] Annechen Löwey nods.
[17:42] Gabrielle Riel: That drama all those years ago in NT was kept mostly under the rug.
[17:42] Gabrielle Riel: At least on my end! :-)
[17:43] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: What are your thoughts on 'not dignifying it with a comment' as a general reaction to indignities?
[17:44] Gabrielle Riel: Honestly?
[17:44] Gabrielle Riel: That kills is the quickest. It's the way to go.
[17:44] Gabrielle Riel: *kills it
[17:45] Gabrielle Riel: I've been the target of many a flame attack over the years, some downright *insane*.
[17:46] Gabrielle Riel: And sometimes I have responded
[17:46] Gabrielle Riel: Which just kicked things up to nuclear
[17:46] Annechen Löwey sighs.
[17:46] Gabrielle Riel: So I have learned to share my feelings with one or two very trusted friends.
[17:47] Gabrielle Riel: And that's it. I don't say anything and I keep on moving.
[17:47] Gabrielle Riel: And I have always had plenty of things on which to work that kept me moving.
[17:47] Gabrielle Riel: What I have found?
[17:48] Gabrielle Riel: In time, something happens - it can be anything
[17:48] Gabrielle Riel: That ultimately puts light on the subject and everyone sees it for what it was.
[17:49] Gabrielle Riel: If I had a Linden for every time someone has come to me *years* later and apologized!
[17:50] Gabrielle Riel: I just focus on finding joy here and things work out.
[17:50] Gabrielle Riel: And karma usually bites the folks who were causing me grief pretty hard.
[17:50] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach looks fleetingly ironic
[17:51] Gabrielle Riel smiles
[17:51] Gabrielle Riel: I'm not saying it's easy to stay quiet and take the high road.
[17:51] Gabrielle Riel: I'm a fighter. It takes everything in me to stay quiet.
[17:52] Gabrielle Riel: Especially when someone I love is under attack
[17:52] Gabrielle Riel: I can deal with crap. I've learned. But oh my, attack someone I care about!
[17:53] Gabrielle Riel: And that includes my residents. That's why I flip out when I see abuse of power.
[17:54] Gabrielle Riel: Then sometimes it's fun, in the most evil way, to stay quiet
[17:54] Gabrielle Riel: Because you'll be dealing with someone who thrives off the engagement in conflict.
[17:54] Gabrielle Riel: I've driven a few people batty that way. :-)
[17:55] Gabrielle Riel: They want to fight with me, in public, badly
[17:55] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach chuckles
[17:55] Annechen Löwey eyebrows, and sips her tea.
[17:55] Gabrielle Riel: It took me awhile to figure out that is what some folks do for attention.
[17:56] Gabrielle Riel: I am a public person, who is mostly liked
[17:56] Gabrielle Riel: So if they take a strong public stand against me, they definitely get attention!
[17:56] Gabrielle Riel: I mute them. :-)
[17:57] Gabrielle Riel: Ignore IMs. Ignore notecards. They don't exist.
[17:57] Gabrielle Riel: And hoo boy does that piss off the narcissists! :-)
[17:57] Gabrielle Riel laughs
[17:57] Eclectric Breitman: I never mute anybody. I prefer to hear what is being said.
[17:57] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Amazing how many think that way, Herr Breitman.
[17:57] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach grins
[17:57] Gabrielle Riel: That's the road to insanity my dear.
[17:58] Gabrielle Riel: I used to be the same way.
[17:58] Eclectric Breitman: It's just gathering of information.
[17:58] Gabrielle Riel looks at the Baron
[17:58] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach smiles
[17:58] Gabrielle Riel: If the information does not bother you then ok
[17:59] Gabrielle Riel: If the information upsets you?
[17:59] Eclectric Breitman: Sometimes it does. And then I just put it into the box with the other information.
[17:59] Eclectric Breitman resumes sharpening his information into fine points.
[17:59] Gabrielle Riel: Not everyone can do that. I can sometimes...and sometimes I can't.
[18:00] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach sighs
[18:00] Holocluck Henly whispers: Hello and pardon I'll be slightly disorientated in an SL Viewer
[18:00] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Sit error. I was 243m in the air, sideways.
[18:00] Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Fraulein Huntress.
[18:00] Emmanuelle Huntress: Bonjour
[18:01] Gabrielle Riel: Hello! We are technically at the end of tea! This is where I will end the transcript.

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